so APPARENTLY the turn it off and on again method doesnt work for life support machines
you haven’t replied in three minutes what did i do why do you hate me
hot doctor game too strong
my throat is sore maybe ur dick could soothe it
Of course, supernatural gets pulled into this
STORY TIME: when i was in hospital some years ago there was this waaaay too attractive doctor and something was wrong with one of those heart rate whatever things on my breast and he had to put it back in place and when he turned the monitor back on my heart beat was soooo fast and he stared at the monitor and than back at me and it was just awkward.
My dad gives me this cake EVERY year on my birthday.
Well you better damn eat it finally
- smile and clap along
- have a sudden fit of coughing so you can awkwardly hide your face in your hands
- scream “dis my jAM” and jump on the table to break-dance
- sing amazing grace as loud as you possibly can until they stop singing to you
- go up to the closest person singing and hug them until they stop. however long it takes. keep holding them until they feel uncomfortable. bonus points for humming in their ear
- start a mosh pit
I JUST WENT OUT FOR DINNER WITH SOME OF MUM’S WORK FRIENDS AND THERE WAS A GIRL MY AGE BUT SHE DIDN’T SPEAK ENGLISH VERY WELL AND SHE KEPT ASKING THINGS LIKE DO YOU LIKE RICE AND WHAT’S YOUR FAVOURITE VEGETABLE BUT THEN SHE LEANT OVER AND WAS LIKE HOW LONG ARE YOUR PERIODS AND I WAS LIKE UM 3 OR 4 DAYS???? AND SHE GOES NO I MEANT SCHOOL PERIODS AND IT WAS THE WORST MOMENT OF MY LIFE
i wonder how many people im in the “id be down if you asked” zone with
depression is only temporary darkness. everything is temporary. nothing is truly permanent. people die. memories fade. perspectives shift. so don’t worry, it will pass.
wow toy story 3 did you have to be such a fucking disappointment
I wish the kim k game was real life … *touches a bird on the sidewalk and gets $2*
I think I’m going to write a book called “‘Four Hours Is Definitely Enough Sleep’ And Other Lies I Tell Myself”